Fidelity

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The Family a Proclamation to the world says, “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”  It is amazing how much our children know about their parent’s married lives.  The other day my youngest daughter said, ” I hear when you and daddy are laughing, I know you tease daddy, I heard you fighting with daddy, I heard you talk to daddy about us.” Even when we believe our conversations are private they aren’t.  Children can read the emotions within their family, whether they are happy or sad.  It is important that couples remain faithful to each other because it affects more than them.  

Successful Marriages and Family says, “Infidelity is easier to prevent than to remedy.”  I don’t believe most couples who experience infidelity intentionally go out seeking to harm their spouse.  I feel as though they get caught in a trap without realizing it.  I remember reading a story about a woman who became close to a co-worker.  One day a co-worker and

I remember reading a story about a woman who became close to a co-worker.  One day a co-worker and her went to lunch.  At lunch they talked about various things and they realized they had a lot in common.  They continued going to lunch daily, they enjoyed their lunch time together.  Soon they exchanged numbers and they would text and talk to each other throughout the day.  One evening the woman’s sister asked her a series of question regarding the co-worker.  The woman was at first upset with her sister asking her such questions as if she was having an affair with the male co-worker.  Later that evening the woman asked herself the questions again.  She was looking forward to talking to her co-worker more than her husband.  She was more excited to meet him daily than to come home to her own husband.   She realized she talked about this co-worker more than her husband and family.  She slowly saw how hurt her husband was by her talking of this co-worker.  Even though she had not crossed any “lines” she knew she was surely walking closely to the line.  She quickly adjusted her time with the co-worker and kept it only professional.  She talked to her spouse and they counseled together.  She became happier and marriage became stronger.  The proclamation says, “families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”  Since this family was established and maintained on faith, prayer, repentance and good family members this woman was able to correct her course and strengthen her marriage.  Don’t get caught in the trap but up wise boundaries to protect your marriage. 

 The best way to have fidelity in marriages is to talk regularly and openly about how you as a couple are doing.  “Often we think that infidelity primarily happens when spouses do not love each other enough, when the marriage is bad, when sexual intimacy is suffering, or when a more attractive alternative comes along.  But infidelity is not primarily about love, sex, or attraction: it is about boundaries- where we draw the line.” (Successful Marriages and Families)  Make sure that as a couple you put up the walls and boundaries that will protect your marriage. 

Wise Walls and Boundaries

  • Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours his or her heart out to you.
  • Don’t share the most painful things of your soul with an attractive alternative.  This develops deep levels of intimacy. 
  • If a conversation makes light of marriage, respond with something positive about your own marriage.
  • Discuss marital issues wiht you spouse.
  • Don’t have lunch or take work breaks with same person all the time.
  • Don’t have lunch alone with an old flame.
  • If an old boyfriend or girlfriend is going to be at a class reunion, make sure you bring your spouse along.
  • When you travel with a coworker, meet only in public places.
  • Don’t flirt with anyone other than your spouse.
  • Don’t travel together with someone of the opposite sex when going to meetings for work, church, or in other circumstances. ( Above listed from Successful Marriages and Family)

I have seen the pain that comes to the entire family when infidelity occurs.  It is like a cancer that eats away at the family.  Some are strong enough to get through it but others are not. It is easier to prevent than remedy infidelity. Take the proper precautions to keep your marriage safe and happy.  

Sources: Proclamation, Successful Marriages and Families

Image: Married Couple

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