Love, Latitude and Limits

The Family a Proclamation to the World says, “Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. ”

I have always felt that Heavenly Father was so smart to want to send us into families because we have support, love, and when you become a parent you have a desire to learn and become better for your children.  I think I would have become stagnate if it weren’t for my children, I don’t think I would have grown as much if it wasn’t for them.  Elder Perry says, “As parents we partner, even join, with God in bringing to pass His work and glory among His children.” (Becoming Goodly Parents)

Parenting doesn’t have to be difficult there are many resources to help parents raise their children in love and righteousness.  “Parents should never drive their children, but lead them along, giving them knowledge as the minds are prepared to receive it.” (Successful Marriages and Families)  In Successful Marriages and Families, it teaches how to parent with love, limits, and latitude.  Even though children need individual approaches Here are some suggestions from you can implement from the book:

  • Love, warmth, and support
  • Clear and reasonable expectations fro competent behavior
  • Limits and boundaries with some room for negotiation and compromise
  • Reasoning and developmentally appropriate consequences and punishments for breaching established limits
  • Opportunities to perform competently and make choices
  • Absence of coercive, hostile forms of discipline, such as harsh physical punishment, love withdrawal, shaming, and inflict guilt
  • Models of appropriate behavior consistent with self-control, positive values, and positive attitudes

Now that that we have set some limits and boundaries to parenting here are three different parenting styles typically used by parents. 

“Coercive parenting or authoritarian style are parents who are coerced, deride, demean, diminish, put down, mock, and/or hold power over their children or try to psychologically control. Hostility is shown in the home by spanking, yelling, criticizing, name calling, and forcing and is linked to anti-social behavior, withdrawn children, and delinquent behaviors.”  (Successful Marriage and Families) 

“Permissive parenting is characterized by parents who overindulge their children, or who just leave them to do their own thing. This is shirking our sacred parental duties and leads to children who don’t or can’t follow orders. Social science shows that children raised by permissive parents may have greater difficulty respecting others, coping with frustration, delaying gratification for a great goal, and following through with plans.” Permissive parenting does not go along with Proclamation because parents have a responsibility to guide their children.   (Successful Marriages and Families).

“Authoritative parenting provides a positive emotional connects, provides regulation that is fair and consistent, and allows for reasonable decision making for the child allowing autonomy. ” This parenting style consists of three characteristics: connection (love), regulation (limits), and latitude (autonomy). (Successful Marriages and Families)

Using the Authoritative parenting style helps family relations develop, allows the child to grow and developing using their decision making but still allow the parent to offer guidance and direction along the way.   This parenting style helps children to self-regulate and become the responsilbe citizen in society.    When you guide behavior it does more than corrects the behavior.  We have noticed with our children that when 

We have noticed with our children that when keep the rules simple and don’t have to many it is easier for them to achieve.  We have also found that when we speak logically to them the are less likely to repeat the behavior.  

The other day my son found some metal pipes.  These pipes had broken off our old trampoline.  The kids thought it would be fun to play with the metal pipes.  I observed from the window to see how the pipes were being used and indeed, as most 11-year-olds would, the pipe soon become swords and other cool weapons.  

I went outside and allowed the children to tell me what fun they were having with these metal pipes and all the places their imagination had taken them.  After they had finished I told them how fun that all sounded and then asked if they had noticed the sharp edges on the pipes.  For the first time they really looked the pipes then the looked at me, I then asked if they thought that the pipes could cut someone.  They stated that they believed they would.  I then simply said next time you play with the pipes could you please remember how sharp they are. Then my son sat there for a minute honestly thinking and taking everything.   Then he smiled real big and said mom you sure do take the fun out of everything! Yet, they didn’t play with the pipes anymore.  I didn’t have to say or do much, they understood the danger, they felt the love, they understood the limits for their safety and made the choice for themselves.  He knew logically it wasn’t safe.  Now if I had simply opened the window and yelled, “hey put the pipes down and don’t play with them;  or said hey that’s dangerous put that down.” I know I would have had to say that at least 3 more times, probably tended to a minor injury, and possibly of had some disagreement go on.  Authoritative parenting allows to truly love, limit and have latitude.  Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

Authoritative parenting allows to truly love, limit and have latitude.  “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”  Remember to have these attributes when raising your children.  We all make mistakes we all need forgiveness from time to time. We all need compassion and love.  Keep your parenting influences positive and strong.  

Image: Child Dedication 

Sources: Successful Marriages and Families, The Proclamation to the World 

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“Life is sacred because Jesus Christ is the ultimate source or fountain of life through His work in the Creation and through His sacrifice in the Atonement.” (Successful Marriages and Families)  We believe in the sanctity of life.  The Family Proclamation says, “ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God.”  We believe every life is a from Heavenly Father.  Children are a gift from Heavenly Father, “Teach your children to respect the sanctity of human life, to revere it and cherish it.” (Successful Marriages and Families) 

In 2014,  6, 438 adoptions (birth to 18 years) occurred in the United States.  In 2104, 926,240 abortions occurred in the united states.  In 2014, over 231,768 couples were trying to adopted (that was only couples who reported they wanted to adopt).  The couples would have adopted more than one child but are limited to the number of children they are able to adopt.  With population decreasing, high infertility rates, women should consider adoption before abortion.  Every child has the right to experience life.  

Due to laws abortions are easier than ever to have.  Teenage girls can even have abortions without the parent’s consent.  “The U.S. Supreme Court’s 1973 decision in Roe V. Wade, it is now legal for a woman to abort her child for almost any reason at almost any time.” (Successful Marriage and Families) Russel M. Nelson calls “the global ‘war on the unborn’ a war that kills approximately 40 million voiceless and defenseless unborn babies each year.” (Successful Marriage and Families) Abortion is a huge topic especially in the political and religious arena.  Many debates occur as to when the life of a child begins.  It is still a life, it is precious, it is divine, it has a right to come to earth and life it’s life like everyone else.  

There are rare cases in which abortion may be justified such as, incest, rape, or when the life or health of the women is in serious medical jeopardy.  Even in this case couples or families should consult with one another and be prayerful about their decisions.  

You should believe in the sanctity of human life.  When something begins to grow and develop scientist consider it alive, but when it comes to the development of human life it is a controversy.  The scriptures teach, “Thou shalt, not steal, neither commit adultery, nor kill, nor do anything like unto it.” I once heard that someone said a baby isn’t alive until it takes its first breath.  So if a mother did not want this child as long as the baby didn’t take its first breath, and it many causes babies doesn’t take their first breath immediately after birth, according to child development studies, then it would be okay to kill the baby right then before the first breath occurs.  “Potential viability creates a situation where babies are aborted alive, meaning the baby survives and abortion attempt, is born alive, and is left to die from the abortion effects, even though it could survive with medical help.” (Successful Marriages and Families)  Does not seem so in human.  I feel that sometimes we make more lives to save animals lives than we do human lives.  

My parents know of a woman who’s mother took her to get an abortion, every day she thinks about that child, every year she thinks about the day that baby would have been a year older.  The majority of abortions are under the age of 20, people who feel they are not ready to have a child and care for them.  Instead of aborting these babies there are many couples waiting to have the joy of starting their own families. There are many wonderful adoption stories and it is one of the most selfless acts a mother can offer to her child, a home where mother and father want to provide a loving home and loving life for that child.  Please realize how special each life is, protect the sanctity of life Mother Teresa pled, “I am willing to accept any child who would be aborted and to give that child to a married couple who will love that child and be loved by the child.” (Successful Marriages and Families) 

Images: Baby

Source: Successful Marriages and Families

Should I Keep Trying to Work it Out.

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While many children are resilient when families dissolve children are at twice the risk for social and emotional problems.  So many times we hear couples ask if they should continue to stay and work things out in their marriage.  “Many people seem to believe that once a marriage has gone, ‘bad’, it is like bruised fruit that cannot be restored, but instead needs to be thrown out and new fruit bought.”  (Successful Marriages and Families) Don’t make the presumption that just because you may be currently unhappy that the marriage cannot be saved.  When couples are patient unhappy marriages often improve significantly over time. 

From the first family Heavenly Father instructed them to cleave unto each other.  In Genesis 2:18  the Lord says, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”  Genesis 2:24 says,  “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”  We are taught that mankind is supposed to be married that they are supposed to become as one and have a family.  The family Proclamation says, “THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan.”

Many factors should be considered before leaving a marriage.  Seek counsel, try to resolve problems before seeking divorce.  “More than 75 percent of individual in Waite and Gallaher’s study who gave the lowest rating on marital satisfaction scale but persisted reported a few years that later they were happy or very happy… long-lasting marital unhappiness is uncommon; unhappy marriage often improve significantly over time for those who are patient and keep trying to work things out.” (Successful Marriages and Families) So hang in there and try to find a way to make things work.  

I knew of a couple that was struggling in their marriage but only one spouse knew it.  Couples can not fix what is not shared.  Remember you are not alone in your marriage and your spouse may be feeling some of the same things you are.  Be sure to talk to your spouse, sit down and focus on the problem not the individual.  Counsel with one another, be there for each other. Instead of thinking divorce start thinking of how your marriage can improve.

Three books that are recommended are The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, The Divorce Remedy, and Covenant Hearts.  (Successful Marriages and Families)  One I personally recommend is Drawing Heaven into your Marriage.   My husband and I have put into place the Seven Principles and you don’t realize sometimes how you self-sabotage a marriage.  

I cannot say that my husband and I have reached the point of frustration that we were ready to divorce but we have had our ups and downs. I was given a challenge in one of my course to turn my thoughts around.  Instead of only focusing on the negative of my spouse look for all the positive things he was doing.  It was amazing to see how thoughtful and insightful my husband actual was.  He noticed I was busy with homework he would try to help get the kids ready for bed, do the dishes, iron clothes, ask me if I needed anything and the list continued to grow.  

Please don’t consider divorce.  Try reading this books, try applying the steps, go through the process, remember that most couples are only unhappy a short time.  “Pray can be invaluable in this process.”  (Successful Marriages and Families) You will be surprised at you be prompted to do or say.  You will find that when you have made positive changes your marriage will too.  

When we stop thinking of marriage as something that is rotting or going bad we can focus on what good fruit our marriage is bringing forth.  Take the challenge to notice all the good things that are going on in your marriage and if you can’t find one thing, then self-reflect and see why you have blinders on.  “God will support those efforts to help couples preserve a union.”  (Successful Marriages and Families) Every marriage is worth saving and I believe everyone can work it out with the right tools.  I know if you have a desire to have a strong marriage you will.  

Image from Google search

Source: Successful Marriages and Families

 

Fidelity

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The Family a Proclamation to the world says, “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”  It is amazing how much our children know about their parent’s married lives.  The other day my youngest daughter said, ” I hear when you and daddy are laughing, I know you tease daddy, I heard you fighting with daddy, I heard you talk to daddy about us.” Even when we believe our conversations are private they aren’t.  Children can read the emotions within their family, whether they are happy or sad.  It is important that couples remain faithful to each other because it affects more than them.  

Successful Marriages and Family says, “Infidelity is easier to prevent than to remedy.”  I don’t believe most couples who experience infidelity intentionally go out seeking to harm their spouse.  I feel as though they get caught in a trap without realizing it.  I remember reading a story about a woman who became close to a co-worker.  One day a co-worker and

I remember reading a story about a woman who became close to a co-worker.  One day a co-worker and her went to lunch.  At lunch they talked about various things and they realized they had a lot in common.  They continued going to lunch daily, they enjoyed their lunch time together.  Soon they exchanged numbers and they would text and talk to each other throughout the day.  One evening the woman’s sister asked her a series of question regarding the co-worker.  The woman was at first upset with her sister asking her such questions as if she was having an affair with the male co-worker.  Later that evening the woman asked herself the questions again.  She was looking forward to talking to her co-worker more than her husband.  She was more excited to meet him daily than to come home to her own husband.   She realized she talked about this co-worker more than her husband and family.  She slowly saw how hurt her husband was by her talking of this co-worker.  Even though she had not crossed any “lines” she knew she was surely walking closely to the line.  She quickly adjusted her time with the co-worker and kept it only professional.  She talked to her spouse and they counseled together.  She became happier and marriage became stronger.  The proclamation says, “families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”  Since this family was established and maintained on faith, prayer, repentance and good family members this woman was able to correct her course and strengthen her marriage.  Don’t get caught in the trap but up wise boundaries to protect your marriage. 

 The best way to have fidelity in marriages is to talk regularly and openly about how you as a couple are doing.  “Often we think that infidelity primarily happens when spouses do not love each other enough, when the marriage is bad, when sexual intimacy is suffering, or when a more attractive alternative comes along.  But infidelity is not primarily about love, sex, or attraction: it is about boundaries- where we draw the line.” (Successful Marriages and Families)  Make sure that as a couple you put up the walls and boundaries that will protect your marriage. 

Wise Walls and Boundaries

  • Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours his or her heart out to you.
  • Don’t share the most painful things of your soul with an attractive alternative.  This develops deep levels of intimacy. 
  • If a conversation makes light of marriage, respond with something positive about your own marriage.
  • Discuss marital issues wiht you spouse.
  • Don’t have lunch or take work breaks with same person all the time.
  • Don’t have lunch alone with an old flame.
  • If an old boyfriend or girlfriend is going to be at a class reunion, make sure you bring your spouse along.
  • When you travel with a coworker, meet only in public places.
  • Don’t flirt with anyone other than your spouse.
  • Don’t travel together with someone of the opposite sex when going to meetings for work, church, or in other circumstances. ( Above listed from Successful Marriages and Family)

I have seen the pain that comes to the entire family when infidelity occurs.  It is like a cancer that eats away at the family.  Some are strong enough to get through it but others are not. It is easier to prevent than remedy infidelity. Take the proper precautions to keep your marriage safe and happy.  

Sources: Proclamation, Successful Marriages and Families

Image: Married Couple

 

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“The Lord did not people the earth with a vibrant orchestra of personalities only to value the piccolos of the world.  Every instrument is precious and adds to the complex beauty of the symphony. ” (Successful Marriages and Families) The parts of an orchestra or not equal.  Some parts are harder, some have more parts than others but when put all together it is a masterpiece.  Marriage is the same way.  Every task will not be equal, one may have more parts than others but together it is a masterpiece.  

So many people today get caught up on the word “equal” and focus only on one meaning.  Equal is “having the ability or resources to meet (a challenge)…Capable of, fit for, up, good enough for, strong enough for, suitable for, suited to, appropriate for” and on and on. “Equal partnership in marriage does not mean that husband and wife are identical, but it does mean that in a very real and meaningful sense they must stand as equal before each other to find the joy that is their heritage in marriage.” (Successful Marriage and Families)

Couples are equal to the task.  The workload may not be equal but couples goals will be and they can support and love each other when trying to accomplish them.  Bruce Hafen says, “husbands and wives are interdependent with each other. They are equal. They are partners.  And in an equal-partner marriage both also bring a spiritual maturity to their partnership, without regard to gender.  Both have a conscience and the Holy Ghost to guide them.” (Successful Marriages and Families)

There was a time in my marriage I felt like I was doing it all with the family.  I remember wondering besides providing what was it my husband was doing.  One day I remember his saying I think we both feel like we are doing it all.  I was shocked and put off at first.  How could he possibly feel like he was doing it all….but when he shared his mental stresses that a father and provider goes through I began to see how he could feel that way.  The Proclamation says, “Fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”  Just like the orchestra we each were playing our part.  We had to come together and understand how each was functioning in order to make it beautiful.  After that day of coming to understand that we were equal to the task, and perhaps not the workload,  I realized that our focus and goal was the same.  When we heeded to the council of the Proclamation our marriage become stronger, our family become stronger, and our task became lighter. 

Bruce Hafen’s uses this analogy, “In the little kingdom of a family, each spouse freely gives something the other does not have and without which neither can be complete and return to God’s presence. Spouses are not a soloist with an accompanist, nor are they two solos. They are the interdependent parts of a duet, singing together in harmony at a level where no solo can go.”  When couples focus on the bigger picture instead of the individual parts they can go where no solo can go, they will have something beautiful.  

Sources: Successful Marriages and Families, Bruce Hafen 

 

Image: Couple hand in hand

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I was talking to my 15-year-old niece one day and she asked us, married ladies, how would she know when she found “the one”, the right one to marry.  Different things were shared and someone said to be prayerful about who to marry.  As quickly as it came out one of the women said that she knew couples who were prayerful and their marriages didn’t end well.  

The problem with those marriages is that they forgot about that prayer, the answer who to marry.  I knew PLENTY of women who were prayerful who’s marriages were successful because they were loving, forgiving, communicated, dedicated, the dated after marriage, they were interdependent, they were friends, had positive interactions, and counseled with one another.  

“I have witnessed much of the best and much of the worst in marriage…faultfinding replaces praise.” (Successful Marriages and Families) I have been guilty of faultfinding instead of praise.  I feel that sometimes when we are unhappy we take it out on our spouse nonverbally.  One might start to focus on all the things they aren’t doing instead of all they are doing.  When I switched my attitude of looking for the positive things in my spouse I was truly humbled.  He was doing so much for me and my family.  He would help with the dishes, he would read to children when I couldn’t, he would always say something positive to me, how nice I looked or thanking me for all I had done.  I was ashamed at my withdraw of love, my lack affection, and own lack of positive phrases to him.  “You see, we are all still imperfect, and these unresolved differences, allowed to accumulate day after day,  add up to a possible breakdown in the marital relationship all for the want of better communication, and too often because of foolish pride…if you want something to last forever treat it differently.”  I had to get over my own pride, communicate better and treat my marriage with the eternal respect it deserved.  

I started to sit down and counsel with my husband, we found out about each others day, we tried to show affection in different ways by sending text, leaving a note in his lunch, telling him one thing I appreciated that he did for me.  You can turn your marriage into something beautiful when you look for the positive.  We started as friends, are continuing as partners and building on our foundation daily.

“True marital love emerges from profound friendship” (Hawthorn, 2012) How many of us have friends that we stuck to their side no matter how they have treated us or the problems we have faced yet we don’t offer our spouse the same forgiveness and commitment.   Just as you would with your friend you should become committed to your spouse and marriage, “it means a willingness to change any and all behaviors and attitudes for the good of the relationship. This might involve learning to resolve differences in a more healthy way, overcoming tendencies toward impatient listening, moderation unrealistic expectations, spending an evening alone together each week, or resolving personal problems.” (Hawthorn, 2012)

If you would like a strong foundation in your marriage become committed to the

  • Relationship
  • Nurture the relationship
  • Become friends with each other
  • Have positive interactions
  • Counsel with one another at least monthly
  • Accept influence sharing the decision making
  • Respectfully handle differences and solve the problem. When you focus on the problem you don’t focus on the individual
  • Continue dating through the years

When using these foundations to build your marriage Spencer W. Kimball describes that marriage can be “more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive.” My husband and I have made these changes in our marriage.  Even good marriages need fine tunning.  See what a difference just one of these things can do for your marriage.  You will be surprised at how much better a good marriage or even the best marriage can become.  Marriage is the foundation to a happy home, community, and country.  Please take the time to nurture your marriage and build that firm foundation for it to last throughout the years.  

 

Image: Happy Couple 

Source: Successful Marriages and Families

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My parents were married at age 18 and 19 and have been married for 45 years.  They are more in love now as they were then and have raised nine children, have 33 grandchildren, 2 step grandchildren and one on the way.  Most of my siblings and myself all married at what they world would consider relatively young.  I have been so blessed to have been married young.  My husband and I have grown up together,  we have the energy to raise our children, help in the community, and work on our eternal marriage together.  There are many blessings that come to a couple when the marry young but unfortunately research is saying that millennials aren’t getting married young. 

 As I was researching about young adults and marriage I came across a website called Michigan live and it grabbed my interest because of young adults not marrying.  I began to wonder if it was because of divorces, examples children had seen in their own home, media’s influence, or personal choice.  

We can all agree that dating has changed throughout the years from simple handholding and not daring to cross or offend any lines to couples thinking only about individual satisfaction.  In today’s society marriage is a pessimism, young adults want to get ahead in life, career, travel, they want to hang out hook up, and cohabitate.  (Successful Marriages and Families)

There are actually advantages to getting married young and in researching this topic a little further there are actually many advantages to marrying young.  There are popular media sources promoting young adult marriage, such as PopSugar, Huffington post and more.  “Scholars have found that there are certain traits that happily married spouses developed…the ability to love and communicate” (Successful Marriages and Families) I will not say that there has to be an exact time for everyone in the world to be married because there isn’t but I do believe being afraid to be married young does not need to be feared.  

I read that most young women plan most of their young life for their wedding day but they don’t plan beyond that.  (Successful Marriages and Families) Couples should not be looking for soulmates, or just looking for a guy to marry so they can have a huge wedding.  They should be looking for an eternal companion, someone they want to be with forever, and not wait to start that wonderful life.  

They shouldn’t be just planning for that “Big day”.  They should be planning for their future, they should want that big day to be the celebration to the start of together forever.    Plan to marry when the time is right for you whether it be young or old.  When the time is right don’t fear failure plan for success, plan beyond that big day, plan for your future together. (successful marriages and families)

Here are some advantages to being married young:

  1. “While you’re young you can enjoy the complete life adventure with your closest friend.
  2. You and your spouse are not set in your ways quite yet. You can mold and shape each other as time goes on.
  3. You learn to compromise as you approach some of life’s biggest decisions hand in hand.
  4. Support. When you’re starting your career or in school or moving every couple years, it’s so nice to have a cheerleader all the time.
  5. You’re unavoidably poor when you’re young, which helps you learn and gain financial stability together. When you start out with nothing, you learn to be grateful for anything.
  6. If you’re looking to start a family, reproductively your body is better equipped to have babies at a younger age.
  7. You’re used to making someone else your first priority.
  8. You celebrate many events and milestones together that people who marry later in life may not get the opportunity to.
  9. You grow up together.
  10. You let go of selfish habits before you develop them. It’s not always about where you want to go or what you want to see, and you learn to involve another person.
  11. You learn most everything together, both literally and metaphorically, and can help enhance each other’s education.
  12. You’ll both have more energy, whether that’s to work together, play together, or to chase after your kids together.
  13. Making plans for the future (for example, where you are going to live in the next few years, how many children you want, what kind of house you will buy, etc.) is easier because you’ve made the ultimate commitment and so you work as a unit.
  14. Your ambition and dreams don’t stop just because you’re married. You both get creative on how to achieve your personal and mutual goals.
  15. Marriage at a young age makes you both more accountable, to each other and to your individual goals.” (PopSugar)
  16.  “We didn’t waste money (because we didn’t have any.)

    We had very low expectations.

    I didn’t wait a decade for “The One,” or for a magical time when my stars aligned. If I spent years planning and dreaming up the perfect wedding and marriage and husband and life, I would have been severely disappointed. Instead I went along with life, choosing to be — and stay — in love.

    We’ve shared every milestone and achievement.

    We’ve gone from mouse-infested apartments and empty bank accounts to a comfortable adult life and everything in between. Everything we’ve accomplished — separately or together — has been met with a familiar high-five.

    Crazy, wild memories? We’ve got ‘em.

    The fact that my husband has first-person memories of me at 19 years old and all of the ridiculous, passion-fueled memories that come with a young romance is something I’ll be quite grateful for as I hit middle age.

    We’re happier, apparently.

    According to the National Marriage Project’s 2013 report, “Knot Yet,” the most satisfied 20-somethings (between 20 and 28 years old) are married, as opposed to being single or cohabitating. In fact, those who reported their marriage as “very happy” were largely between 24 and 26 years old. Another study showed that those married between 22 and 25 years old have the greatest likelihood of having an intact marriage. And The Huffington Post reported on more research that showed clear benefits to getting married in our 20s.” (Huffington Post)

    I know being married young has blessed me and my husband.  We have established a life together.  I remember thinking how weird it was that at age 37 my mom had been married longer than she was single and how no one would have thought they would have made it that far but they did.  I have been so blessed in my home growing up with a couple that grow and loved each other and now my husband and I look foward to the day of when we have been married longer that we are single.  We have been blessed with children, a three homes, a wonderful career, a business, eduation, health and the list goes on and on.  We have followed the counsel of the Proclamation to marry for eternity when the time was right for us.  I hope more couples will realize the blessings of being married young and what a wonderful life you can have with the person you love and care for. 

Sources: Successful Marriages and Families, Michigan Live, PopSugar, Huffington Post

Image: Proposals 

 

 

 

Reason for Blog

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The proclamation was given to the world by Prophets who receive revelation for the whole earth. The Proclamation is a warning, a prophecy, and a blessing about the importance of families and how we can have a strong family unit.  Since the world has changed its view so much on families Heavenly Father presented His proclamation to the whole earth to warn us what we will be accountable for.  The Proclamation was given to the world to strengthen families and help families have joy.

A family will be so blessed by following the counsel of the Proclamation. Families will be happy, and couples will be happy when they live the Lord’s way.  If the family does not follow the world’s way but clings to this spiritual gift,  the Proclamation, it will help them raise, protect, and have an eternal family. They will also receive the eternal blessings Heavenly Father has in store for them.  

This semester I am taking a family course and I would like to share how important families are.  I was recently reading a book called “Successful Marriages and Families” and in that book, there are several stories regarding the blessings that come from reading the Proclamation.   One story shared is shared by a father who lost his wife and was trying to take on both role of father and mother,  it says, “I found that as a mother I always fell short.  At first this made me frustrated, sad, angry, and discouraged.  No matter how hard I had tried, I always fell short.  There were things to feel guilty about 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year.  My weaknesses required me to swallow my pride and humbly learn from others. With time, things started to get a little better…I marveled at the numerous specific and personal ways the proclamation has blessed me and my family since that Saturday night about 15 years ago when I first heard it.  It has changed our lives forever.” 

The proclamation has blessed my family too.  When my husband read, “HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”  This helped to understand his role as a father.   He didn’t have a father figure growing up and this helped give him the guidance and direction he wanted so he could be a good spouse and a father.  From the beginning my husband knew he needed to take care of our small growing family.  We continue to seek guidance and direction from this wonderful proclamation.  

We must let others know and understand that there is hope in the family.  Principles contained in the Family A Proclamation to the World “Will bless not only our lives but also the lives of those around us.” Boyd K. Packer  Please tell us how important your family is too.  Help others understand the important role of having children, being loving, nurturing parents who provide and raise their children to be contributors to society.  

Please check out this link: The Family A Proclamation to the World

Image: Family Picture

Book Source: Successful Marriages and Families